Here We Go Again
Written on 19 June 2008 by AmyAs Drew talked about in his blog, we’ve had a tough decision to make - fresh or frozen for the next cycle. Since none of this is covered by insurance - and all of it by credit card - we had to look at options, talk to people, and talk amongst ourselves. We decided that we had to set ourselves up for our best chance at success - and that means our second and final fresh cycle. We can’t afford a third. As soon as my current natural cycle completes I’ll be back on the meds. Wish us luck.
The Cost of Doing Business
Written on 21 May 2008 by AmyIVF: 11,000
ICSI: 1,500
Meds: 5,000
Freeze Embryos: 1,000
No insurance discount: -2,000
Home pregnancy tests: 50
Positive Negative blood test = Priceless $16,550
No News is Bad News
Written on 20 May 2008 by AmyI saw that on someones infertility blog once “No news is bad news”. In other words, if you don’t hear anything in the near future it’s probably because I have nothing to shout from the rooftops.
Results Due
Written on 20 May 2008 by AmyI had my blood test this morning. We’re not holding out much hope. Today is 17DPO and every pee stick test has been negative - including this morning. While it is still possible, it is very unlikely that the blood test results will be different. Some women never register a positive result on a pee stick no matter how pregnant they are. Others don’t test positive until 20DPO+. But those are the exceptions. The one-off cases. The ones you hear about and go “Wow!” because they are unusual. I’m going to guess that we have about a 5% chance of actually being pregnant despite the negative results seen already.
The lab said they’d process the results today. We’ll see.
Snow White
Written on 15 May 2008 by AmySo of course I broke down early and tested. I’m only human. So far all I’ve gotten are Negatives. It’s still early - 12 DPO, but I see many women on the boards getting positives at 8, 9, 10 days… So, early or not, there was a possibility. And there is still a possibility. You’re not supposed to start testing until around 14 DPO anyway. Luckily this isn’t my first rodeo - I’ve had plenty of experience with Negative tests over the years. I’m not an emotional wreck over it.
Deep down I think I expect it not to work. I don’t know if I’m just being realistic based on the odds (which are 60/40 against us) or if I’ve had too many years of this not working out. Maybe it’s because everyone we know who has had IVF didn’t succeed on the first try. Not to mention the countless women I read about in the forums and blogs. It’s hard not to be pessimistic. It’s easier to set myself up to not be too disappointed.
The beta blood test is 5 days away. It doesn’t matter how many times I pee on a stick between now and then. A Positive on a pee stick wouldn’t even mean much if the beta number is too low on 17 DPO. That blood test will be the definitive answer.
6DP3DT
Written on 12 May 2008 by AmyFor those of you not in the “fertility know” that means 6 days post 3 day transfer. The embryos were transferred back 3 days after retrieval - and it has been 6 days since then. That would make me officially 9 DPO (days past ovulation). There are all kinds of crazy acronyms and abbreviations you pick up when reading fertility blogs and forums.
All quiet on the western front so far. I don’t feel at all pregnant, but in reality most implantation’s don’t occur until days 8-9, and then it takes a few days for hcg to build up in your system. It’s really too early to know anything. I’m supposed to get my beta blood test next Tuesday, and I’m sure time will move in slow motion until then. I’m tempted to start peeing on sticks, but that’s a dicey proposition. Too many people do it too early and end up with negatives - or get a positive only to be followed by a negative a few days later. Many, many early pregnancies end up as “miscarriages” without the women ever knowing they were pregnant. The tests these days have such a high sensitivity to any hcg in your system that you can detect pregnancies that aren’t necessarily viable. The older tests never would have detected such a low level of hcg and would have spared a lot of heartache.
I got some tests from Costco over the weekend but I’m on the fence as to whether I’ll use them early or not. I can make an argument either way, but every day is different. The longer I hold out the better chance we have at accuracy, and the more time we can hold on to hope.
A Grain of Sand
Written on 7 May 2008 by Amy
We headed out to the hospital a little early yesterday morning, not expecting much traffic. Of course there was an accident on the bridge which caused Drew an enormous amount of anxiety which he managed to hide quite well. I was slowly floating down into my (prescribed) Valium coma and wasn’t too worried about any of it.
We managed to arrive on time, checked in and headed upstairs to the OR. I was once again instructed to strip and change into my cap, gown and booties, and I was pleasantly surprised to find a set for Drew. Neither of us realized he got to be in the room during the procedure. I was 99% happy, and 1% disappointed because I had been imagining what a great story it would be to tell about how I got pregnant and ‘Daddy’ wasn’t even in the room.
After we were shown into the transfer room we went over the stats of the remaining embryos. 4 had survived. The other 2 were not dividing properly and were discarded. The plan was to transfer 2 and freeze the other 2. Time to get rolling.
Everything went pretty smoothly. The speculum was very uncomfortable and was the most painful part of the procedure. I was expecting problems with the catheter insertion because they had problems during the mock transfer, but that part was a breeze. I didn’t feel a thing. It was over before I really knew it was happening (other then the uncomfortable speculum).
They had me get up pretty quickly after the transfer, and Drew asked the nurse about them “falling out.” It’s a reasonable question. She told us that the uterus is not the big open cavity that most people assume it it. It’s pretty compact. She likened the transfer to putting a grain of sand inside a peanut butter sandwich. It was actually a very reassuring image.
The embryos are still in their protective shell. They won’t hatch for probably another day or two. After hatching they need to find their way to the uterine wall and embed themselves. Anything can go wrong. They can stop dividing, there could be problems in hatching, or they could not embed. We have no way of monitoring the progress for the new few weeks until it’s time to take the blood test.
And now we wait.
Attrition
Written on 4 May 2008 by AmyEgg - or should I say “ovum” - retrieval was successful. We had to get up at 5 so we could shower and be at the hospital by 7am Saturday morning. There were a few difficulties when the parking garage we normally used was closed, so we used a metered spot. Then the automatic doors to the hospital wouldn’t open because apparently the guard doesn’t arrive until 7 - and we were characteristically early. An unsuspecting janitor let us in and we headed upstairs.
Once the staff arrived we were treated very well. I changed into my robe, cap and booties and was ushered to a lazy boy to relax while they draped me with a warm blanket. I was outfitted with my IV, had a Q & A with the anesthesiologist and it was off to the OR - which was really just a walk across the room.
As with any surgery I went out pretty quickly, and just as quickly woke up again laying in recovery. I had a bit of abdominal cramping and a hearty case of the hiccups. The former was resolved by a rush of meds to the IV, the latter solved by sitting up. I had a bottomless glass of apple juice and some graham crackers and was on my way home about an hour later. Everyone at the hospital had been professional and kind. I had no complaints, but was definitely ready to be on my way.
Yesterday was filled with hot compresses and a lot of lying down. My abdominal area was more then a little tender. I spent much of the rest of the morning sleeping, and the rest of the day on the couch watching TV. I’m feeling much better today, other then a very painful back as a result of all the bedrest. I should mention that the trigger shot Thursday night left me so exhausted that I had to come home early Friday and go to bed. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t concentrate. I couldn’t eat. I just wasn’t feeling good.
Anyway, they retrieved 16 eggs. Of those 16, 9 were mature enough to fertilize and 6 of those made it today. Assuming those 6 keep growing and dividing we should hopefully have a good selection for the transfer on Tuesday and a few left over to freeze. 6 is a decent number - not great, but decent. It should be enough. I hope it’s enough.
Raiding the Hen House
Written on 1 May 2008 by AmyAll I can think about anymore is how tired I’m. The meds make me tired. I’m tired of getting up at 5 every day to take the ferry and then a bus to get to the DR by 8. I’m tired of spending 20 minutes every night mixing and injecting medications. I’m too tired to care about anything other than the things that don’t matter anyway. I’m not interesting or fun to be around. All I want to do is lay on the couch or in bed and watch TV. I’ve been too tired to even update my blog with IVF status reports. Luckily Drew has been pretty prolific on our progress. I’ve just been too tired to care.
And I’m still tired, but at least we found out today we’re moving to the next stage: Retrieval. That means I get to give myself a big old shot of HCG tonight which triggers the body to start thinking about ovulation. The egg retrival is going to be on Saturday. We’ll find out how many eggs were retrieved, and Sunday we’ll get the Fertilization Report which tells us how many eggs were mature and how many were fertilized. The transfer will occur Tuesday or possibly Thursday.
My Broken Places
Written on 24 April 2008 by AmyThe whole IVF process can be quite overwhelming at times. My emotions can run high not just because of the hormones, but also because it’s a difficult journey. Sometimes I get resentful of Drew because he doesn’t understand what I’m going through. He’s very logical about the process. I don’t think any man can understand what it’s like to feel failure every month when pregnancy doesn’t occur. I don’t believe any woman who hasn’t dealt with infertility can either. That said, as easy as it may be to say “You just don’t understand”, I can never fault him for not trying.
He listens to me when I need an ear, he’s a shoulder when I need one to cry on, and he takes really good care of me when I don’t care about myself. He’s a good man and I’m very fortunate to have him in my life. If you don’t already, check out his blog here: Brevet