There is just too much good TV to keep up with these days, so often we find ourselves discovering great shows after the fact - either after they’ve completed their series run, or 2-3 seasons in.  The solution is to watch them on DVD.  Netflix is perfect for that.  We get 4 movies out at a time.  I have 2 to rotate on my ferry commute, Drew gets one which he watches Saturday morning, and then we watch one together every weekend.  For the past 8 months or so we’ve gotten TV series exclusively.  No movies.  I’ve watched entire series on the ferry with my portable DVD player… Arrested Development, The Office (UK and US), Veronica Mars, Party of Five (Seasons 1-3), and more that I can’t remember. 

Right now I’m catching up on Grey’s Anatomy.  I’m only on Season 3, but it’s a tear jerker.  Addison and Derek coming to terms with the end of their relationship, George’s dad dying, Meredith’s conflict with her mother, Izzie dealing with Denny’s death, the ferry boat accident…   Holy cow.  I’m constantly wiping away a stray tear and trying to talk myself out of a full on cry out in public…telling myself over and over “It’s only a TV show…It’s only a TV show.”  Sometimes it works.

We’re not sure when we’re going to start the next (LAST!) fresh cycle. Even if my body doesn’t respond well to the next cycle again, I don’t think we’ll try another fresh cycle. Keep in mind, that the drugs alone are almost half the cost of a fresh cycle. So, when your body doesn’t respond you’ve still spent a pretty good chunk of change because you’ve taken all the expensive meds.

I can’t keep doing this, and it’s not just the cost. The drugs put me in a bad place for too long. For the entire time I’m on meds Drew has to walk on eggshells around me, and I can’t bring myself to get off the couch for weeks other then to drag myself to work. I’m stressed out. I’m putting on weight. I’m not myself anymore. I need to get back to “me” and get on with my life with or without children.

Get naked, straddle the stirrups, and catheter insertion.  The whole thing probably took 5 minutes (if you don’t count the 20+ minutes we were waiting for the DR in the exam room).  I didn’t even feel the catheter. 

Assuming I ovulated the day of the IUI, I’m now 6 DPO.  I’m not in any hurry to test since it’s too early anyway.  We’ll see how it goes as the time comes closer.

Yesterday was no exception.  If you’ve been on a Muni bus (or probably any city bus) you’re familiar with the back doors where you’ll find 2-3 little steps which get you up into the bus proper.  On either side of this little stairwell are Plexiglas walls.  When the back doors open they open inward and sit parallel to the aforementioned walls.   Because the bus was so full the driver was loading people through the back door.  I jumped on and tried to squeeze myself in with little success.  I ended up with one foot on the bus floor and one foot in the stairwell and facing forward.  No problem right?   Wrong. 

At the next stop I suddenly felt the pinch of my arm in an iron brace.  As it turns out I was just far enough in the stairwell to get the back of my arm caught between the Plexiglas wall and the door when it opened.   And this was the result:

This morning was a little different.  That first needle rooted around deep enough to hit something it shouldn’t and it hurt like a son of a bitch.  I had a hard time waiting for her to pull it back out and I was holding my breath - that’s how much it hurt.  When it came time to try again with the next nurse I tried to convince her to do my other arm, but there were no veins to be found there either.  It was back to the first arm, and barely a centimeter from the first hole.  Between that and the road rash where I ripped the bandage off my arm was sore for a few hours.  I’m expecting a pretty bruise.

It has to be said that I love the staff at UCSF.  All of them.  Everyone goes above and beyond to make sure you know what your plan is, where you’re supposed to go and what you’re supposed to do.  They’re a warm, fun group of people who are professional and on the ball.  They’ve built up enough credit with me that I can absolutely forgive a bad poke.  I may not forget though - it hurt!

About 2 weeks ago I got a Jury Summons.  No big deal right?  Wrong. It’s a HUGE deal.  This is the first summons I have received in - I kid you not - over 10 years.  I want to serve on a jury for a big case.  I think it would be the coolest thing EVER.  Granted, most people call in the night before and are dismissed, or are dismissed the next day.  But there is still a possibility of being called to serve.   Of course, my date has to fall on July 18th.  There is just no way -for those of you familiar with the geography of the Bay Area - for me to make it to the DR in San Francisco, and then back to the courthouse in Fairfield on a weekday morning.  I’m going to have to ask for a deferral and hope they call me again.  This sucks.

My friend Jenny was in town over the weekend and I gave her a demonstration with a saline injection… it’s amazing how giving yourself shots is like riding a bicycle.  It’d been a while, but it was easy enough to do.  Her reaction reminded me of my own when I saw our trainer show us how to do injections.  Comical. 

I was suprised at how long I’ll be on birth control… 18 days.  And maybe it was that long before, but the first time the Lupron shots overlapped with the pills so I think it seemed like we were moving on the next step quicker.  So for now I’m back on “the pill” and then move on to the stims on July 18th. 

IVF blogs:  35 feeds
Reality News:  8 feeds
News News:  4 feeds
Friends and Family:  16 feeds

I would have to be crazy (or have way too much time on my hands) to go to 63 sites every day to check for updates.  So I use Google Reader to keep track of the happenings out in the world.   I let Google go out and check for updates to all the web sites I read regularly and it will let me know when a new blog or article has been posted. 

The great thing is that almost every site these days publish feeds of their material.  A feed is generally the title along with a snippet of text, or the full text, of the published article.  It will include clickable links which will take you directly to the original source.   

There are so many feed readers these days.  Feed support is even built into the browsers these days (Internet Explorer 7, Safari, Firefox).  Just look for this little icon:    If you regularly read blogs or look at news sites, you have to use a feed reader.  It just makes web surfing that much easier.

The lab said they’d process the results today.  We’ll see.

Deep down I think I expect it not to work.  I don’t know if I’m just being realistic based on the odds (which are 60/40 against us) or if I’ve had too many years of this not working out.  Maybe it’s because everyone we know who has had IVF didn’t succeed on the first try.  Not to mention the countless women I read about in the forums and blogs.  It’s hard not to be pessimistic.  It’s easier to set myself up to not be too disappointed.

The beta blood test is 5 days away.  It doesn’t matter how many times I pee on a stick between now and then.  A Positive on a pee stick wouldn’t even mean much if the beta number is too low on 17 DPO.  That blood test will be the definitive answer.