Photos
Written on 10 July 2009 by AmyNothing new to report. We’re still very sleep deprived, although we managed 2-3 two hour sessions last night. Felt like heaven.
I’ve given up on finding photo sharing software that I can host on my web site that is both easy to use, and easy to upload so I’m going to use Google Picassa.
6 Days
Written on 8 July 2009 by AmyThe twins are here! They will be a week old tomorrow. So hard to believe!!
I was going to write a long post about the experience but the reality is that I’m tired and I have very little time to get things done, so I’ll keep it short. Sarah Kate was born at 8:32 weighing in at 7lbs 6oz and Jack Henry was born at 8:34 weighing in at 6lbs 8oz. They were pretty good sizes for twins. They definitely have distinct personalities. Sarah is a bit of a spitfire. She is loud and in charge. When she looks around she seems to calculating her next move. Jack is very laid back. He feels like an old soul at times. He’ll often keep his head in one position and move his eyes back and forth like he is checking things out on the sly.
There are lots of diaper changes and feeding is every 3 hours 24/7. We tried breast feeding but when it takes 2+ hours to feed twins, and it has to be done every 3 hours… well, you see the problem. So for now we’re going to try just pumping and supplementing with formula. I thought the lactation consultant would try to convince me otherwise, but she agreed. She said she hadn’t seen a twin mom yet who could breastfeed and not be completely exhausted all the time. Time on the boob: 2 hours plus pumping for 15 minutes. Time on the bottle: 20 minutes plus pumping for 15 minutes. I struggled with the decision, but they will still get some ”original” milk, and I will have so much more time just to spend enjoying them. I’ll say this, you’d think breastfeeding would be instinctual to babies, and it is so NOT. It takes a lot of hard work to get them comfortable with it, and in the meantime they are hungry and screaming and angry that you’re trying to get them to do it.
We had them in our room in a bassinet/playpen for the first 3 nights and have now moved them into their own room and crib. There are so many diaper changes and subsequent clothes changes that it just made sense to have them in their own environment rather then adapting our bedroom. They are napping in there for the first time and are sleeping peacefully.
We are so thrilled that they are finally here. I think the first few days you’re in a daze trying to learn and keep up. It’s hard to find time to bond with them because you’re so busy and exhausted, but we’re getting a routine down and finding more time just to sit and play with them and it’s been fantastic. They are wonderful additions to the family and we couldn’t be happier. Well, we’d be happier with a lot more sleep, but what can you do.
The Not So Interesting Update
Written on 27 June 2009 by AmyI guess it’s been a while (again) since I posted. I missed 34 and 36 weeks… and here I am now at 37 weeks, and 5 days away from delivery. Everything has been going really well with the pregnancy. The babies are still growing big and strong. At my last appointment (36.5 weeks) they were both estimated to be over 7 lbs – which is on the large size for twins. I’ve been going in for regular non-stress tests, which is where they hook me up to a heart monitor for each baby and a contraction monitor for about 20 minutes and make sure all is well. They are looking for steady heartbeats, and heart rate jumps in reaction to conditions such as contractions and being poked. Evidently it’s a good sign if they both move away and have a heart rate increase when poked because it shows that their nervous system is working.
Bed rest has become increasing more uncomfortable. Getting around is comical for the most part. I’m thankful for the wall next to my bed that I can brace myself against temporarily every time I get up … especially in the middle of the night. I’ve perfected the waddle, and I think the babies have dropped because it’s getting that much harder to conceal my belly beneath my maternity shirts when I bother to get dressed at all. I’m much more tired then I used to be. I end up taking a few naps a day lately. We went to have a last hurrah lunch together as a couple and I came home and slept for three hours.
All in all, I think the pregnancy has gone really well. I read the forums enough to know that so many women suffer so much more. It could be a lot worse. Certainly, as everyone says, the end is the hardest. I don’t know if it’s because it’s so close you can taste it, or if your body really does start to mutiny, but either way I can survive 5 more days. Part of me is really looking forward to that first night in the hospital after delivery to see if I can actually sleep through the night. I know that sounds crazy but when you spend so many months getting up 4-5 times a night — and you know you’ll be getting up to feed a few times a night once you get home — the idea of a uninterrupted night of sleep or two is just fantastic.
Anyway, we’re in the home stretch. Only a few more days to go and we are excited!
Goodbye Again
Written on 1 June 2009 by AmyThere is a place we find ourselves between sleep and wakefulness. It’s a place where we dream with a semblance of conscious thought and control.
I was sleeping in on Saturday as I’m wont to do. And I heard Drew telling Alex, our Border Collie who passed away a few months ago, to go upstairs and see me. I heard the familiar jingling of his collar as he ran up the stairs, and I could hear him trotting across the room to the other side of the bed. I knew what was coming – he jumped on the bed and drapped himself across me. I wrapped my arms around him, buried my face in his fur and then suddenly he was gone. I woke up with tears rolling down my face.
It didn’t feel like a dream – but of course it didn’t feel real either. I was aware while it was going on that he wasn’t with us anymore, and that made me appreciate it all the more. It was one of those rare moments that made me wonder if there is life after death…if he was visiting me one last time. It was probably just a dream, but the experience touched my heart in so many ways.
The Not So Fun
Written on 28 May 2009 by AmyI figured I might as well get my complaining out in a post since this is supposed to be an archive of my pregnancy experiences. Here they come, in no particular order:
Bathroom: I’m supposed to be drinking 100+ ounces of water a day, which I’m pretty good at. However, that leads to about 20 trips a day to the bathroom. During the day it’s not so bad, but at night I get up about every 90 minutes. You can almost set your clock by it. The worst are the days when I nap too much and then try to catch up with water at night. Then I average every 60 minutes. By the time you realize it is time to go, and then actually get out of bed the sudden downward pressure on the bladder can be excruciating.
Food: The amount of food I’m supposed to eat for twins is very disproportionate to the amount of room in my increasingly smashed stomach cavity. Add to that the amount of water I’m supposed to consume, and it’s virtually impossible. I get full quickly, and heartburn soon follows. As a result I eat whenever I’m hungry, but hard to say if I’m eating enough. But the twins are growing ahead of schedule, so I must be doing something right… or we’re both tall and destined to have big babies no matter what.
Eating: Similar to food, but this is the actual act of eating. I try to have breakfast with Drew every morning at the table, but that’s the only meal I eat at the table. I can’t pull myself up to it, so I find myself leaning forward too much for comfort so my mouth can reach my food. I eat most of my meals propped up in bed – which actually isn’t that comfortable – or laying down in bed, which is awkward. Sitting on the couch isn’t too bad.
Sleeping: Did I mention I wake up every hour or so? Well that’s only part of it. I have to sleep on my side because my back is too uncomfortable and it’s very much discouraged while pregnant. The growing pregnancy puts increasing pressure on nerves so that after an hour or so the hip I’m laying on can become very painful. This requires me to flip over to my other side – which is no easy task when your belly is the size of a pumpkin. I mostly try to combine the two activities – if I have to turn over I might as well get up and use the bathroom and save myself some trouble.
Movement: Arched back, clumsy, painful at times. That about sums it up. Oh, and Drew frequently helps me get up when he’s home. Once I sit up, I usually need to take a beat to catch my breath before actually standing up.
Stretching: Those babies have to fit somewhere, and their growth causes ’round ligament pain’. This is brief (about a minute) periods of severe pain after a sudden movement. It can be triggered by getting up, turning over, sneezing, coughing, etc. The round ligaments surround the uterus and stretch like any other muscle. Fortunately I don’t have it too often, but it always comes on suddenly. Yesterday I had to tell myself to breathe while waiting for it to subside.
Lack of energy: This is probably actually a good thing since I’m on bed rest anyway, but it can be a little much at times. If I get up to do a simple activity or run a quick errand I get really worn out. Trips to the DR, which keep me out for a few hours really take a lot out of me. Heck, climbing the stairs can take a lot out of me. Sometimes I get to the top panting like I just ran around the block.
So, end of complaining… it had to be said. Pregnancy is not a bed of roses, and it’s important to document it all. Obviously it’s all worth it, and when it’s over I’ll probably be wishing for it again.
32 Weeks
Written on 25 May 2009 by AmyYou’d think I would write more…being on bed rest and all. What else do I have to do? Really not very much at all. I watch TV, surf the internet, read the forums, chat with my mom on IM, eat, shower and sleep. That’s about it. Maybe that is the problem. Everyday is virtually the same. I thought it would bother me – the monotony of staying home in bed, but I’ve gotten used to it. However, I do fear the time when my day goes from 0 to 60 overnight. It’ll be a tough transition to go from a less then sedentary lifestyle to utter chaos.
The pregnancy itself is going great. We had our 32 week appointment last week. The kids are growing like wildfire. The girl was 4lbs 13oz, and the boy was 5lbs – which is big for 32 weeks. Almost 10 pounds of baby brewing already! The ultrasound showed all systems functioning as expected – heartbeat, blood flow through the cord, etc. They are thriving in their little environment.
We had a few concerns with my health. My blood pressure was a little on the high side when they first checked it, and there were signs of protein in my urine. Plus my hands have felt a little swollen lately. All these can be signs of pre-eclampsia, which is nothing to mess around with. It can be deadly to me, and the only cure is to deliver the babies. Fortunately, a second blood pressure test showed normal levels, and subsequent blood tests all came back mostly normal. The only notable issue was a slight case of anemia. Solution: add an iron supplement to my diet. Easy. And no signs of pre-eclampsia. I think I was just very dehydrated that day. I mostly get enough water – but 100+ oz a day is no easy feat.
We only got 2 pictures this time but they were 3D! Unfortunately, the DR was only able to capture the girl. The boy had his head turned towards my back. In any case, it’s amazing to see the features of my child while she is still in the womb. According to the DR she is resting her head on her brother’s behind. Here’s hoping they always have that bond.
Anxiety Kicks In
Written on 2 May 2009 by AmyWe were a little disappointed to find out that our 29 week appointment had to be rescheduled for a week out because our DR had to spend the day in Labor & Delivery. We were looking forward to it because not only would we see the kids, but also the DR would be able to put my mind at ease about a lack of consistent, strong movement I was feeling on the whole left side of my ever expanding belly. Let me back up a little.
We knew the basic placement of the two – the girl is on the right head down, and the boy is on the left head up. The girl is curving a bit more towards the bottom, with the boy higher up. The problem was that over the past few weeks I’ve been feeling all kinds of crazy activity and movement on the right that I could not only feel but see. On the left side I rarely felt something without having my hand in place, and even then it was nothing earth shattering. There was a distinct difference in activity levels between the 2 sides. I was worried but trying not to overreact. I’d read plenty of forum posts stating that sometimes one twin is more active.
On Wednesday, I called Labor and Delivery in the morning, discussed my concerns, and was told to drink some really cold liquids, lay on my side and feel for an hour. They said the babies can feel the cold and should react. If I was still concerned, to call back and they would have me come in an monitor the babies on the heart rate monitor. Well, after the hour was up, I was feeling more activity – although nothing approaching the level of the left side. But I knew that he was alive and kicking, and I knew I had an appointment the next day so I decided to wait it out.
On Thursday my appointment got rescheduled for a week later. The idea that I’d have to wait a week to get any feedback didn’t sit well in my current state of mind.
Friday night I did the cold water test, and maybe felt 6-7 weak movements. After talking it over with Drew I decided it was time to go to Labor and Delivery and get checked out – if only for my own peace of mind. So I went in, and they found both heart beats fairly quickly. They kept me on the monitor for about 20 minutes and the heart beats were strong and normal – indicating no distress or oxygen issues. Then the DR came in with the sonogram machine to check their locations. What we found out was that they are still in the same basic positions that we thought they were in, but the boy on the left is facing towards the right (towards the belly button) and the girl is also facing towards the right (my side). They are spooning each other – although the girl is upside down to the boy. The DR explained that in those positions, I should really only expect movement on the right side since the both of them are facing that way. What a relief.
She went on to further say that the strength and consistency of their heart beats were consistent with babies that were a few weeks older, and she pointed out movement in the diaphrams of both babies which indicates they are “practice breathing”. This practice breathing is not only not always visible, but also not usually seen until about 32 weeks. She said that they are both big and strong and definitely ahead of schedule in their growth. She couldn’t have been happier with what she saw, and as a result so were we!
The appointment went better then expected. Not only did we see the kids, but we found out that the crazy activity I’m feeling on the right is both babies – not just one hyper one, and that the lack of activity on the left is because it’s all body. The icing on the cake was finding out that they are doing really well and advanced for their age.
Time to relax.
Goodbye My Love
Written on 26 April 2009 by AmyWe buried Alex today. It was time. His ashes came back a few weeks ago, and we got his stone from Rock-It Creations delivered a few days ago. He is laid to rest next to his buddy Harvey.
There were tears and laughter (mostly tears) as we reflected on our brief time with him. He was more of a companion then we ever expected and everything that we always wanted.
Goodbye baby – you were so loved.
The Upside of Down
Written on 26 April 2009 by AmyAs tough as it was to lose our dog Alex at such a critical time in our lives, it’s impossible to not also appreciate the benefits of not having a dog. Let me preface this by saying I would do anything to have him still with us – and we tried everything possible. I don’t feel like we left any stone unturned in trying to save him. He was the sweetest, smartest boy and he was my baby. He cuddled with me every morning. He spent his weekends in the yard with Drew. We took him with us whenever possible and made trips to special places just for him. He was loved and adored.
That said, he’s been gone for about a month now, and I’m starting to get past the guilt of feeling the relief of his absence. He was a Border Collie, and they are one of the smartest, most energetic breeds. He needed almost constant stimulation – from playing frisbee/ball, to hiding his named toys and letting him find them. He was always looking to us for a “job”, and we would come up with new ways to entertain him. How were we going to keep him active with two babies? How marginalized – against our best efforts – would he become?
He would shed a lot. Weekly vacuuming was never enough. There were always tufts of hair wrapped around the kitchen chair legs and the carpet always had an extra protective layer of fur on top. I worried about having kids crawling and trying to keep up with the fur.
He was quite accustomed to riding in the backseat with the window down whenever we went somewhere on the weekends. With two car seats he’d have to sit in the “way back” with the windows up. Not quite as good – plus there would be strollers and stuff back there…would he fit? Would he overheat without the air flow?
Getting home late was always a stressor because we knew we was waiting for us. We felt guilty going out at night and staying out too late when it would impact either when he would get his dinner and/or go to bed. Dogs are routine oriented, and get used to things happening at a certain time.
Poo on the grass with kids? That could get ugly.
The most recent reminder is that I’m on bedrest. I can’t imagine having to manage a very active dog when I’m supposed to be laying down 98% of the day.
While there are many things that remind me of how much I miss and loved him, I have to also acknowledge the ways in which our lives have been made easier by his passing. It can be a lot of work raising a dog, and he definitely helped prepare us for the next chapter of care taking.
27 Weeks
Written on 20 April 2009 by AmyNo pictures to post this time around. We only got three – and I can’t tell what 2 of them are. Even when the DR tried to explain, we still weren’t seeing it, so I’m not going to bother. The one that was good was a profile of the boy, but it is not any better/different then the 24 week pics.
Overall the appointment went really well. The boy is finally measuring larger then the girl. He’s 2lbs 10oz and she is 2lbs 6oz. They are still about a week ahead of schedule. I’m feeling much more movement these days, but the girl remains the more active of the two. I’ve actually started “seeing” movement which is really cool. Little bumps in the belly and an occasional slide of (what I’m assuming to be) a foot. Sometimes I poke where the movement was and I feel something hard, and poke again and it’s gone! So they are reacting and moving around. It’s certainly a little strange though – this movement through the belly business. If this were a movie I’d have dripping fangs rupturing out any minute. Fortunately it’s just a few sweet little babies who are quickly becoming more and more of a reality to us.
The bad news is that my cervix went from 3.6 centimeters at my 22 week appointment to 2.9 centimeters at my 27 week appointment. The danger is that if it shortens too much too early I could go into labor. The DR indicated I’d be in dangerous territory if it kept decreasing at that rate. Anything under 2.5 and they start putting you on drugs to help the babies lungs start developing faster. So, if they are born earlier, hopefully they can breathe unassisted. We’re almost to 28 weeks, which is a good milestone – viability gets better, and risk of serious complications go down, but still in the 40-50% range. Scary.
As a precaution I’ve been taken off work and put on modified bedrest. This means laying in bed or on the couch with my feet up most of the day. That helps take the downward pressure off the cervix. I’m allowed 30 mintues a day of “light” activity which I’ve been spreading out by getting up a little more frequently. I can go to the bathroom, shower, make myself quick snacks, etc. I just can’t clean, cook, grocery shop (unless the trip is under 30 minutes and no heavy lifting), laundry, etc. I’m a world class relaxer by nature, and it’s been hard even for me. It’s one thing to want to take it easy, but it’s a whole new ballgame to _have_ to take it easy. Luckily I have lots of good TV, movies, internet and books.
The next step, if my cervix keeps shortening, is full bedrest. That means absolutely no activity outside of bathroom breaks and a shower every few days. I’m really hoping I don’t have to go there…
Next appointment: 29 weeks