It’s Only a TV Show
Written on 14 August 2008 by AmyThat’s my new mantra “It’s only a TV show… It’s only a TV show.” I have to repeat it to myself over and over to prevent breaking out in tears on the ferry. A few still do squeak by…
There is just too much good TV to keep up with these days, so often we find ourselves discovering great shows after the fact - either after they’ve completed their series run, or 2-3 seasons in. The solution is to watch them on DVD. Netflix is perfect for that. We get 4 movies out at a time. I have 2 to rotate on my ferry commute, Drew gets one which he watches Saturday morning, and then we watch one together every weekend. For the past 8 months or so we’ve gotten TV series exclusively. No movies. I’ve watched entire series on the ferry with my portable DVD player… Arrested Development, The Office (UK and US), Veronica Mars, Party of Five (Seasons 1-3), and more that I can’t remember.
Right now I’m catching up on Grey’s Anatomy. I’m only on Season 3, but it’s a tear jerker. Addison and Derek coming to terms with the end of their relationship, George’s dad dying, Meredith’s conflict with her mother, Izzie dealing with Denny’s death, the ferry boat accident… Holy cow. I’m constantly wiping away a stray tear and trying to talk myself out of a full on cry out in public…telling myself over and over “It’s only a TV show…It’s only a TV show.” Sometimes it works.
Expect the Expected
Written on 12 August 2008 by AmyAs expected, good old Aunt Flo arrived right on schedule.
We’re not sure when we’re going to start the next (LAST!) fresh cycle. Even if my body doesn’t respond well to the next cycle again, I don’t think we’ll try another fresh cycle. Keep in mind, that the drugs alone are almost half the cost of a fresh cycle. So, when your body doesn’t respond you’ve still spent a pretty good chunk of change because you’ve taken all the expensive meds.
I can’t keep doing this, and it’s not just the cost. The drugs put me in a bad place for too long. For the entire time I’m on meds Drew has to walk on eggshells around me, and I can’t bring myself to get off the couch for weeks other then to drag myself to work. I’m stressed out. I’m putting on weight. I’m not myself anymore. I need to get back to “me” and get on with my life with or without children.
“Sperm, Have you met Egg?”
Written on 6 August 2008 by AmyIf IVF is the arranged marriage, IUI is the blind date.
The IUI Experience
Written on 5 August 2008 by AmyI think most people have gone through a dozen IUI’s before moving on to IVF. This was our first IUI. I have to say that it was much easier then I expected. Sure the meds were hard, but I was taking them for IVF anyway. They make me tired, moody, bitchy… But the procedure itself was a breeze compared to everything else.
Get naked, straddle the stirrups, and catheter insertion. The whole thing probably took 5 minutes (if you don’t count the 20+ minutes we were waiting for the DR in the exam room). I didn’t even feel the catheter.
Assuming I ovulated the day of the IUI, I’m now 6 DPO. I’m not in any hurry to test since it’s too early anyway. We’ll see how it goes as the time comes closer.
That Was Fast
Written on 5 August 2008 by AmyWhen I postponed Jury Duty, I let them know I’d be available after September 1. I recieved a new summons in the mail for September 3rd. Yipee!!! Keeping my fingers crossed and knocking on wood that I get a big case.
Converted
Written on 27 July 2008 by AmyThe IVF cycle has been converted to an IUI cycle. My body just isn’t responding well to the Antagonist Protocol. The three follicles on the left weren’t growing at all. I have 4 on the right that are doing okay, and a few stragglers that probably wouldn’t make it to fruition. If we keep going with IVF we may end up with no eggs to fertilize, or eggs that don’t fertilize. We’re going to cut our losses and go with the IUI rather then just cancel in its entirety. Historically we have not done IUI’s because Drew’s count was too low to consider it, but a small chance is still better then no chance. Trigger hCG shot on Monday night and IUI on Wednesday.
What Not To Do on Muni
Written on 25 July 2008 by AmyI’m no pro when it comes to riding Muni, the SF transit system. My experience has largely been with taking a bus from the ferry to the DR office, and then another bus back to work. In the mornings the ride isn’t so bad because I get on at the first stop and have my choice of seats. The trip back to work is always heinous because the bus is jam packed - standing room only. Asses to armpits.
Yesterday was no exception. If you’ve been on a Muni bus (or probably any city bus) you’re familiar with the back doors where you’ll find 2-3 little steps which get you up into the bus proper. On either side of this little stairwell are Plexiglas walls. When the back doors open they open inward and sit parallel to the aforementioned walls. Because the bus was so full the driver was loading people through the back door. I jumped on and tried to squeeze myself in with little success. I ended up with one foot on the bus floor and one foot in the stairwell and facing forward. No problem right? Wrong.
At the next stop I suddenly felt the pinch of my arm in an iron brace. As it turns out I was just far enough in the stairwell to get the back of my arm caught between the Plexiglas wall and the door when it opened. And this was the result:
Stick Me With Your Best Shot
Written on 24 July 2008 by AmyAs part of the whole IVF process you have to have regular blood draws to monitor your progress. I’ve had 2 this week so far, and am heading back in on Saturday. It’s not that big of a deal considering I’m giving myself shots every night anyway. However, for whatever reason (most likely dehydration) getting blood out of my arm in the morning is challenging. About half the time the first person gives up and passes the baton to someone else. My veins are just hard to find. I’m used to it, I warn them, we laugh. Whatever. It is what it is.
This morning was a little different. That first needle rooted around deep enough to hit something it shouldn’t and it hurt like a son of a bitch. I had a hard time waiting for her to pull it back out and I was holding my breath - that’s how much it hurt. When it came time to try again with the next nurse I tried to convince her to do my other arm, but there were no veins to be found there either. It was back to the first arm, and barely a centimeter from the first hole. Between that and the road rash where I ripped the bandage off my arm was sore for a few hours. I’m expecting a pretty bruise.
It has to be said that I love the staff at UCSF. All of them. Everyone goes above and beyond to make sure you know what your plan is, where you’re supposed to go and what you’re supposed to do. They’re a warm, fun group of people who are professional and on the ball. They’ve built up enough credit with me that I can absolutely forgive a bad poke. I may not forget though - it hurt!
Looking Up
Written on 24 July 2008 by AmyMy estrogen level was 202 today. Not only is that almost a three-fold increase over 2 days ago, but it is also 80+ points higher then it was on this day last cycle (117). The downside is that my follicles aren’t progressing as well. The left side is “quiet” and has shown no progess since Tuesday, and the right side has shown a little progress. No new follicles, but the (only) 4 that are there are starting to grow. So that’s something. Next appointment on Saturday.
68
Written on 23 July 2008 by Amy68. That was my estrogen level after 4 days of stimulants. Not good. When I did all my pre-testing for IVF back in February my level was 64 on the third day of my natural cycle. When I did IVF #1 my estrogen level was at 99 on day 4 of stims. During IVF #1 I was taking Lupron to suppress Estrogen…which I’m not doing for IVF #2. So why would it be 31 points lower this time and no different then what my body does naturally without meds? No clue. And we thought I was off to a slow start last time… This sucks.