The Not So Interesting Update
Written on 27 June 2009 by AmyI guess it’s been a while (again) since I posted. I missed 34 and 36 weeks… and here I am now at 37 weeks, and 5 days away from delivery. Everything has been going really well with the pregnancy. The babies are still growing big and strong. At my last appointment (36.5 weeks) they were both estimated to be over 7 lbs – which is on the large size for twins. I’ve been going in for regular non-stress tests, which is where they hook me up to a heart monitor for each baby and a contraction monitor for about 20 minutes and make sure all is well. They are looking for steady heartbeats, and heart rate jumps in reaction to conditions such as contractions and being poked. Evidently it’s a good sign if they both move away and have a heart rate increase when poked because it shows that their nervous system is working.
Bed rest has become increasing more uncomfortable. Getting around is comical for the most part. I’m thankful for the wall next to my bed that I can brace myself against temporarily every time I get up … especially in the middle of the night. I’ve perfected the waddle, and I think the babies have dropped because it’s getting that much harder to conceal my belly beneath my maternity shirts when I bother to get dressed at all. I’m much more tired then I used to be. I end up taking a few naps a day lately. We went to have a last hurrah lunch together as a couple and I came home and slept for three hours.
All in all, I think the pregnancy has gone really well. I read the forums enough to know that so many women suffer so much more. It could be a lot worse. Certainly, as everyone says, the end is the hardest. I don’t know if it’s because it’s so close you can taste it, or if your body really does start to mutiny, but either way I can survive 5 more days. Part of me is really looking forward to that first night in the hospital after delivery to see if I can actually sleep through the night. I know that sounds crazy but when you spend so many months getting up 4-5 times a night — and you know you’ll be getting up to feed a few times a night once you get home — the idea of a uninterrupted night of sleep or two is just fantastic.
Anyway, we’re in the home stretch. Only a few more days to go and we are excited!
Goodbye Again
Written on 1 June 2009 by AmyThere is a place we find ourselves between sleep and wakefulness. It’s a place where we dream with a semblance of conscious thought and control.
I was sleeping in on Saturday as I’m wont to do. And I heard Drew telling Alex, our Border Collie who passed away a few months ago, to go upstairs and see me. I heard the familiar jingling of his collar as he ran up the stairs, and I could hear him trotting across the room to the other side of the bed. I knew what was coming – he jumped on the bed and drapped himself across me. I wrapped my arms around him, buried my face in his fur and then suddenly he was gone. I woke up with tears rolling down my face.
It didn’t feel like a dream – but of course it didn’t feel real either. I was aware while it was going on that he wasn’t with us anymore, and that made me appreciate it all the more. It was one of those rare moments that made me wonder if there is life after death…if he was visiting me one last time. It was probably just a dream, but the experience touched my heart in so many ways.
The Not So Fun
Written on 28 May 2009 by AmyI figured I might as well get my complaining out in a post since this is supposed to be an archive of my pregnancy experiences. Here they come, in no particular order:
Bathroom: I’m supposed to be drinking 100+ ounces of water a day, which I’m pretty good at. However, that leads to about 20 trips a day to the bathroom. During the day it’s not so bad, but at night I get up about every 90 minutes. You can almost set your clock by it. The worst are the days when I nap too much and then try to catch up with water at night. Then I average every 60 minutes. By the time you realize it is time to go, and then actually get out of bed the sudden downward pressure on the bladder can be excruciating.
Food: The amount of food I’m supposed to eat for twins is very disproportionate to the amount of room in my increasingly smashed stomach cavity. Add to that the amount of water I’m supposed to consume, and it’s virtually impossible. I get full quickly, and heartburn soon follows. As a result I eat whenever I’m hungry, but hard to say if I’m eating enough. But the twins are growing ahead of schedule, so I must be doing something right… or we’re both tall and destined to have big babies no matter what.
Eating: Similar to food, but this is the actual act of eating. I try to have breakfast with Drew every morning at the table, but that’s the only meal I eat at the table. I can’t pull myself up to it, so I find myself leaning forward too much for comfort so my mouth can reach my food. I eat most of my meals propped up in bed – which actually isn’t that comfortable – or laying down in bed, which is awkward. Sitting on the couch isn’t too bad.
Sleeping: Did I mention I wake up every hour or so? Well that’s only part of it. I have to sleep on my side because my back is too uncomfortable and it’s very much discouraged while pregnant. The growing pregnancy puts increasing pressure on nerves so that after an hour or so the hip I’m laying on can become very painful. This requires me to flip over to my other side – which is no easy task when your belly is the size of a pumpkin. I mostly try to combine the two activities – if I have to turn over I might as well get up and use the bathroom and save myself some trouble.
Movement: Arched back, clumsy, painful at times. That about sums it up. Oh, and Drew frequently helps me get up when he’s home. Once I sit up, I usually need to take a beat to catch my breath before actually standing up.
Stretching: Those babies have to fit somewhere, and their growth causes ’round ligament pain’. This is brief (about a minute) periods of severe pain after a sudden movement. It can be triggered by getting up, turning over, sneezing, coughing, etc. The round ligaments surround the uterus and stretch like any other muscle. Fortunately I don’t have it too often, but it always comes on suddenly. Yesterday I had to tell myself to breathe while waiting for it to subside.
Lack of energy: This is probably actually a good thing since I’m on bed rest anyway, but it can be a little much at times. If I get up to do a simple activity or run a quick errand I get really worn out. Trips to the DR, which keep me out for a few hours really take a lot out of me. Heck, climbing the stairs can take a lot out of me. Sometimes I get to the top panting like I just ran around the block.
So, end of complaining… it had to be said. Pregnancy is not a bed of roses, and it’s important to document it all. Obviously it’s all worth it, and when it’s over I’ll probably be wishing for it again.
32 Weeks
Written on 25 May 2009 by AmyYou’d think I would write more…being on bed rest and all. What else do I have to do? Really not very much at all. I watch TV, surf the internet, read the forums, chat with my mom on IM, eat, shower and sleep. That’s about it. Maybe that is the problem. Everyday is virtually the same. I thought it would bother me – the monotony of staying home in bed, but I’ve gotten used to it. However, I do fear the time when my day goes from 0 to 60 overnight. It’ll be a tough transition to go from a less then sedentary lifestyle to utter chaos.
The pregnancy itself is going great. We had our 32 week appointment last week. The kids are growing like wildfire. The girl was 4lbs 13oz, and the boy was 5lbs – which is big for 32 weeks. Almost 10 pounds of baby brewing already! The ultrasound showed all systems functioning as expected – heartbeat, blood flow through the cord, etc. They are thriving in their little environment.
We had a few concerns with my health. My blood pressure was a little on the high side when they first checked it, and there were signs of protein in my urine. Plus my hands have felt a little swollen lately. All these can be signs of pre-eclampsia, which is nothing to mess around with. It can be deadly to me, and the only cure is to deliver the babies. Fortunately, a second blood pressure test showed normal levels, and subsequent blood tests all came back mostly normal. The only notable issue was a slight case of anemia. Solution: add an iron supplement to my diet. Easy. And no signs of pre-eclampsia. I think I was just very dehydrated that day. I mostly get enough water – but 100+ oz a day is no easy feat.
We only got 2 pictures this time but they were 3D! Unfortunately, the DR was only able to capture the girl. The boy had his head turned towards my back. In any case, it’s amazing to see the features of my child while she is still in the womb. According to the DR she is resting her head on her brother’s behind. Here’s hoping they always have that bond.
Anxiety Kicks In
Written on 2 May 2009 by AmyWe were a little disappointed to find out that our 29 week appointment had to be rescheduled for a week out because our DR had to spend the day in Labor & Delivery. We were looking forward to it because not only would we see the kids, but also the DR would be able to put my mind at ease about a lack of consistent, strong movement I was feeling on the whole left side of my ever expanding belly. Let me back up a little.
We knew the basic placement of the two – the girl is on the right head down, and the boy is on the left head up. The girl is curving a bit more towards the bottom, with the boy higher up. The problem was that over the past few weeks I’ve been feeling all kinds of crazy activity and movement on the right that I could not only feel but see. On the left side I rarely felt something without having my hand in place, and even then it was nothing earth shattering. There was a distinct difference in activity levels between the 2 sides. I was worried but trying not to overreact. I’d read plenty of forum posts stating that sometimes one twin is more active.
On Wednesday, I called Labor and Delivery in the morning, discussed my concerns, and was told to drink some really cold liquids, lay on my side and feel for an hour. They said the babies can feel the cold and should react. If I was still concerned, to call back and they would have me come in an monitor the babies on the heart rate monitor. Well, after the hour was up, I was feeling more activity – although nothing approaching the level of the left side. But I knew that he was alive and kicking, and I knew I had an appointment the next day so I decided to wait it out.
On Thursday my appointment got rescheduled for a week later. The idea that I’d have to wait a week to get any feedback didn’t sit well in my current state of mind.
Friday night I did the cold water test, and maybe felt 6-7 weak movements. After talking it over with Drew I decided it was time to go to Labor and Delivery and get checked out – if only for my own peace of mind. So I went in, and they found both heart beats fairly quickly. They kept me on the monitor for about 20 minutes and the heart beats were strong and normal – indicating no distress or oxygen issues. Then the DR came in with the sonogram machine to check their locations. What we found out was that they are still in the same basic positions that we thought they were in, but the boy on the left is facing towards the right (towards the belly button) and the girl is also facing towards the right (my side). They are spooning each other – although the girl is upside down to the boy. The DR explained that in those positions, I should really only expect movement on the right side since the both of them are facing that way. What a relief.
She went on to further say that the strength and consistency of their heart beats were consistent with babies that were a few weeks older, and she pointed out movement in the diaphrams of both babies which indicates they are “practice breathing”. This practice breathing is not only not always visible, but also not usually seen until about 32 weeks. She said that they are both big and strong and definitely ahead of schedule in their growth. She couldn’t have been happier with what she saw, and as a result so were we!
The appointment went better then expected. Not only did we see the kids, but we found out that the crazy activity I’m feeling on the right is both babies – not just one hyper one, and that the lack of activity on the left is because it’s all body. The icing on the cake was finding out that they are doing really well and advanced for their age.
Time to relax.
Goodbye My Love
Written on 26 April 2009 by AmyWe buried Alex today. It was time. His ashes came back a few weeks ago, and we got his stone from Rock-It Creations delivered a few days ago. He is laid to rest next to his buddy Harvey.
There were tears and laughter (mostly tears) as we reflected on our brief time with him. He was more of a companion then we ever expected and everything that we always wanted.
Goodbye baby – you were so loved.
The Upside of Down
Written on 26 April 2009 by AmyAs tough as it was to lose our dog Alex at such a critical time in our lives, it’s impossible to not also appreciate the benefits of not having a dog. Let me preface this by saying I would do anything to have him still with us – and we tried everything possible. I don’t feel like we left any stone unturned in trying to save him. He was the sweetest, smartest boy and he was my baby. He cuddled with me every morning. He spent his weekends in the yard with Drew. We took him with us whenever possible and made trips to special places just for him. He was loved and adored.
That said, he’s been gone for about a month now, and I’m starting to get past the guilt of feeling the relief of his absence. He was a Border Collie, and they are one of the smartest, most energetic breeds. He needed almost constant stimulation – from playing frisbee/ball, to hiding his named toys and letting him find them. He was always looking to us for a “job”, and we would come up with new ways to entertain him. How were we going to keep him active with two babies? How marginalized – against our best efforts – would he become?
He would shed a lot. Weekly vacuuming was never enough. There were always tufts of hair wrapped around the kitchen chair legs and the carpet always had an extra protective layer of fur on top. I worried about having kids crawling and trying to keep up with the fur.
He was quite accustomed to riding in the backseat with the window down whenever we went somewhere on the weekends. With two car seats he’d have to sit in the “way back” with the windows up. Not quite as good – plus there would be strollers and stuff back there…would he fit? Would he overheat without the air flow?
Getting home late was always a stressor because we knew we was waiting for us. We felt guilty going out at night and staying out too late when it would impact either when he would get his dinner and/or go to bed. Dogs are routine oriented, and get used to things happening at a certain time.
Poo on the grass with kids? That could get ugly.
The most recent reminder is that I’m on bedrest. I can’t imagine having to manage a very active dog when I’m supposed to be laying down 98% of the day.
While there are many things that remind me of how much I miss and loved him, I have to also acknowledge the ways in which our lives have been made easier by his passing. It can be a lot of work raising a dog, and he definitely helped prepare us for the next chapter of care taking.
27 Weeks
Written on 20 April 2009 by AmyNo pictures to post this time around. We only got three – and I can’t tell what 2 of them are. Even when the DR tried to explain, we still weren’t seeing it, so I’m not going to bother. The one that was good was a profile of the boy, but it is not any better/different then the 24 week pics.
Overall the appointment went really well. The boy is finally measuring larger then the girl. He’s 2lbs 10oz and she is 2lbs 6oz. They are still about a week ahead of schedule. I’m feeling much more movement these days, but the girl remains the more active of the two. I’ve actually started “seeing” movement which is really cool. Little bumps in the belly and an occasional slide of (what I’m assuming to be) a foot. Sometimes I poke where the movement was and I feel something hard, and poke again and it’s gone! So they are reacting and moving around. It’s certainly a little strange though – this movement through the belly business. If this were a movie I’d have dripping fangs rupturing out any minute. Fortunately it’s just a few sweet little babies who are quickly becoming more and more of a reality to us.
The bad news is that my cervix went from 3.6 centimeters at my 22 week appointment to 2.9 centimeters at my 27 week appointment. The danger is that if it shortens too much too early I could go into labor. The DR indicated I’d be in dangerous territory if it kept decreasing at that rate. Anything under 2.5 and they start putting you on drugs to help the babies lungs start developing faster. So, if they are born earlier, hopefully they can breathe unassisted. We’re almost to 28 weeks, which is a good milestone – viability gets better, and risk of serious complications go down, but still in the 40-50% range. Scary.
As a precaution I’ve been taken off work and put on modified bedrest. This means laying in bed or on the couch with my feet up most of the day. That helps take the downward pressure off the cervix. I’m allowed 30 mintues a day of “light” activity which I’ve been spreading out by getting up a little more frequently. I can go to the bathroom, shower, make myself quick snacks, etc. I just can’t clean, cook, grocery shop (unless the trip is under 30 minutes and no heavy lifting), laundry, etc. I’m a world class relaxer by nature, and it’s been hard even for me. It’s one thing to want to take it easy, but it’s a whole new ballgame to _have_ to take it easy. Luckily I have lots of good TV, movies, internet and books.
The next step, if my cervix keeps shortening, is full bedrest. That means absolutely no activity outside of bathroom breaks and a shower every few days. I’m really hoping I don’t have to go there…
Next appointment: 29 weeks
24 Weeks
Written on 11 April 2009 by AmyI’m posting our 24 week photos 2 weeks late because we’ve had a lot going on lately. All is well. They are growing ahead of schedule and we have picture confirmation that we’re having a boy and a girl. Our last appointment was the anatomy scan, and we confirmed that everyone has the correct anatomy – hands, arms, legs, feet, brain hemispheres, heart chambers, etc.
We’re still trying to get everything ready. The rooms are finally painted, but we have yet to actually pick out a theme. It’s an amazing amount of work getting ready for babies… Even just trying to pull together a registry is crazy. Who knew that babies needed so much stuff?! For some of the bigger items – like swings and saucers we’re just putting in 1 rather then 2. For starters, we don’t have the room for two of everything, and I think they can be doing different things at different times – one in the swing, one in the bouncer, etc.
There is definitely more kicking going on these days. I mostly feel it when I’m laying in bed at night, but they are becoming more active during the day. The girl seems to be the wild one with the boy more mellow. I’ve read that their personalities in the womb reflect their personalities once they are born… so we’ll see.
Other then that things are just moving along…
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- 24 Weeks – Boy – Profile and Confirmation
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- 24 Weeks – Girl – Profile and Foot
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- 24 Weeks – Girl – Confirmation
25 Random Things About My Dog
Written on 22 March 2009 by AmyTomorrow we have to put down our dog Alex. We fought with everything we had over the past 2 weeks to save his life from what the DR’s believe is lymphoma (cancer) in his brain that came on suddenly and with a vengence.
Just a month ago, I posted this “Note” on Facebook. When the trend was going around to post 25 random facts about yourself, I much preferred to post 25 random facts about him because he is that special. At the time I wrote it I recall thinking I wanted to preserve many of the special memories I had of him. I had no idea that the wheels were about to fall off the wagon.
We’re beyond heartbroken at the thought of losing him tomorrow, but we have to do what’s best for him.
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1. He’s a 5-year old Border Collie named Alex
2. He’s almost 65 pounds, which is about 20 pounds bigger then the average Border Collie. He’s not overweight – just tall and long.
3. We Alex to keep our other dog, Harvey, company. Unfortunately Harvey passed away unexpectedly about a year and a half later.
4. We feel bad that Alex is alone all day, so we take him to Metro Dog once a week so he can be part of a pack. He loves loves loves it there. Play with the pack for a few hours, sleep for a few hours, play with the pack for a few hours… and so on all day.
5. He won’t play with other dogs until he knows them really well. What he usually does is find a group of dogs and herd them. Especially at the dog park – he will find a group and run constant circles around them. Most people find it pretty amusing. He feels like he’s doing his job.
6. Speaking of jobs, he’s happiest when he has a job. Since we don’t have any sheep at our house, we’ve taken to naming all his toys, hiding them around the house, and then telling him which one to go get. He knows all the names of his 20+ toys, and his retrieval success rate is usually around 85%.
7. He has recently decided that he needs a job when I’m in the shower. He’ll come up and tap on the glass and then stare at me expectantly. So I tell him which toy to get an off he goes.
8. He knows “upstairs” and “downstairs”. When we’re downstairs and tell him “birdy” is “upstairs” he’ll run up looking for it. If he’s having a hard time finding it we hear him running around and jumping on/off the bed in his pursuit. He’s persistent.
9. He was raised with cats (who were raised with Harvey). So they all have a healthy respect for each other. One of our cats loves him more then he loves us. He is Alex’s little shadow. Follows him around everywhere…jumping on the bed when Alex jumps on the bed, jumps off when he jumps off and does everything he possibly can to lay next to him and mark him by rubbing on him. Alex is a good sport about it for the most part, but sometimes he gets a little frustrated and bares his teeth at him or snaps at him. Doesn’t faze the cat a bit.
10. He’s not allowed to herd the cats, but he is allowed to police their scratching in forbidden places. If the cats are scratching someplace they are not supposed to he will run up and insert himself between the cat and said object. Sometimes he’ll bare his teeth a little (he doesn’t understand that cats don’t know what teeth baring means). But he’s effective.
11. If he thinks the cats are fighting (not playing) he’ll insert himself between them. He doesn’t always know the difference, but we tell him that they’re okay, and he settles back down.
12. He likes to spoon – and I like having a big warm fluffy dog to snuggle with.
13. He likes to lay on my pillow between the headboard and my head and lay his face on my shoulder. The cat sleeps there at night, and Drew told Alex to lay there one night as a joke. He liked it so much that he lays there all the time now. We don’t let him sleep on the bed, but he can come visit.
14. Alex knows his place in the pack. Unlike Harvey, there is no question that we are higher in the pack order then he is – and he is super sweet and eager to please.
15. We have a dog door built into the service door between the garage and the backyard, and he has a bed in the garage. He can go back and forth while we’re at work. When the garage door opens he goes straight to his bed and stays there until we pull the cars in or out and close the garage door. It’s a relief because Harvey would always take off down the court at every opportunity. Alex mostly stays in the yard.
16. He’s good with kids. We’ve been saying for years that the dog needs a “boy” to play with. We’re happy that he’s going to get his wish before he’s too old to enjoy it.
17. He gets anxious when we get anxious. If we’re reacting to a movie or video game he will either attempt to bury himself on the upset person or go snuggle with the other of us. It doesn’t take much – we never yell in the house. Just raising our voice in frustration upset him.
18. Based on advice, we tried playing a recording of a baby crying loudly to get him used to the sounds. It didn’t bother him a bit. I think he might get a bit freaky when he hears actual babies crying and upset in the house – babies that are part of his pack.
19. He loves car rides (no surprise) but we had to work with him for about 2 years to get him to this point. We got him from a breeder in Fort Bragg – and he threw up 3 times in the first 20 minutes on the way home (very windy road). From then on he’d turn green and start to drool in the car, sometimes eventually throwing up. We spent a lot of time taking him on short trips with great rewards (dog park, Petco). Sometimes we’d put him in the car and just drive around our neighborhood for a few minutes, or sometimes we made him lay in the car in the garage for a few minutes. Now he’s fine. Our longest trip with him was to Vegas and back.
20. When we first brought him home, Harvey was 9. Alex was a little puppy coming into his house, but it soon become apparent that Alex was going to be higher in the pack order. Harvey was very submissive to other dogs. Dogs figure these things out naturally, and Alex just assumes more of a leader role most of the time.
21. We stopped taking him to the dog park regularly because it seemed like there was always an aggressive dog there. Alex doesn’t start anything, but he doesn’t back down easily either when another dog is pushing the boundaries.
22. His favorite thing to do is play Frisbee. He’s really good at it. We play with him in the back yard 3 times a day on average. He’d play all day if we would only oblige.
23. He’s gone through a lot of toys over the years. For the most part he’s not destructive with his toys but eventually he’ll chew holes in them. He does, however, still have the very first toy we named for him. It’s dirty – but no holes.
24. He’ll learn the name of a new toy within minutes. Like children he loves when we bring a new toy home, and we start working with him right away so he knows which toy it is … foxy, birdy, rabbit, bear, etc. We’ll throw it and say “Go get horsey!”
25. He’s our last dog for a while. Including Harvey, Drew has had dogs for the past 15 years and while they bring a lot of love into the house they are also a lot of work. We feel bad that Alex doesn’t have another dog in his pack, but we lucked out with him. He is a really good boy and I worry that the next dog might turn out to be hell on wheels. You just never know – like people they all have their own personalities – and only so much of that is nature vs nurture.